Let me be real with you. I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I don’t know if I want to stay in the field that I’m in. I’m graduating in half a year. I have lofty visions, goals, and dreams, and I’m ready to drop everything and chase them.

I’ve wanted to talk about this for a long time. Sometimes, when you find yourself stuck on what people have said to you in the past, it’s a little hard to keep moving on. I’ve considered talking openly about it, but what does that make me look like? Am I supposed to gossip about others in the same way that they have tried to tear me down in public? Could I even be sued for writing this thing?

“I’ve never really liked being vulnerable,” you say, as we head back to the car. Who really does? I’ve been dying to share portions of my stories for years, because I strongly believe they’ll help someone else. Maybe, just maybe, people like us could show a hurting world that there is a space to be vulnerable.

This year was rough, to say the least. It seemed to start off so promising for me: a vibrant, new relationship; a summer job; a twentieth birthday; a trip to Mexico, Canada, and New England… the list goes on. It was almost as if my year took a turn for the worse. My vibrant, new relationship was still amazing, but it had turned into a long-distance, trans-Atlantic relationship after less than a few months together. My trip to Mexico was a blessing, but I came back with bodily functions working improperly, and it’s continued to hinder everyday life even as I write this. My trip to New England turned into an awful scare when I had a car accident that was initially ruled as my own fault (Guess what? It was my girlfriend’s father’s car)! I faced an entirely new semester at my university where things had seemingly gotten worse. Friends and family members were dying, elections had torn friends apart, and so many of my good friends had not returned.

It’s not every day that you get up and decide, “I’m going to write a blog.” In fact, I’m an introvert, and while I have lived in seven different states, around ten different cities, and traveled all across North America, I still find myself preferring the inner sanctum of my own thoughts. I usually, perhaps like some of you, never really share my true thoughts unless called upon, but something keeps pulling me to this laptop. Maybe it’s the fact that I find myself wanting to share with everyone who I really am and what my thoughts truly are? Perhaps it’s to share my own hobbies and dreams without talking your ear off. The internet is different. You’ve got the ability to simply press a button and your time here on my blog is finished. So, no, I’m not going to beg you to stay, but for those of you who are like me, and simply want to express their thoughts on the interwebs, here we are.